Lisa Jewell
Summary from SuperSummary.
PROLOGUE
Ellie Mack looks back on the picture-perfect months before her disappearance, remembering her handsome boyfriend, Theo Goodman, and how lucky she felt to be his girlfriend. She realizes she should have seen the warning signs of what was to come, the little “knots in the yarn” (2) that led to tragedy.
PART ONE
1. Laurel Mack cleans her daughter Hanna’s flat as she does every week, but she sees no signs that her daughter slept there or even come home the previous night. Hanna has never been the social type, nor has she ever had a boyfriend, so her absence causes Laurel alarm. Paranoid about her daughter’s safety because of the disappearance of her younger daughter, Ellie, 10 years before, she quickly calls Hanna at work and breathes a sigh of relief when Hanna answers.
2. Laurel thinks back to the day 10 years ago when Ellie disappeared. Laurel has always been a pessimist, even when all three of her children were alive and well. When Ellie left for the library and never came back, Laurel’s cynicism snowballed. Paul, her husband, was sick with a cold when Ellie disappeared, and she had hated him for it. She had also resented Hanna and her request to eat the leftover lasagna that Laurel promised to save for Ellie.
3. Ellie looks back at all the little things that led to her disappearance: getting a B+ in math, dating Theo (who was better than her at math), and begging her mother for a tutor. Even though they didn’t have extra money for a tutor, Ellie convinced her mother she needed one before the General Certificate of Secondary Education (GCSE) exams, pushing until her mom gave in.
4. For the last 10 years, the police had no leads in Ellie’s case. She was last seen on CCTV footage (Closed Circuit Television) on Stroud Green Road, stopped next to a parked car to check her reflection in the window. Ellie wore a black T-shirt, jeans, white sneakers, and a navy backpack, with her hair in a ponytail. The police felt she tried to make herself invisible on purpose, and they suspected she ran away. When the police downgraded the search after two years, Laurel’s husband, Paul, and their two children, Hanna and Jake, just kept plodding forward, living their lives, but Laurel did everything she could to keep the search going. Recently, they did a 10-year anniversary appeal on television, and now the police have a lead.
5. Ellie remembers the first day she met with her math tutor, Noelle Donnelly. She recalls her strange smell, like cooking oil, and her unkempt, unattractive appearance. Ellie wished her mother would stay in the room with them, feeling uneasy about being alone with a stranger.
6. On her way to the police station to hear about the lead in Ellie’s case, Laurel thinks about the way her life has fallen apart since Ellie’s disappearance. Paul left her to live with another woman, and Jake and Hanna moved out of the house at the first opportunity. Laurel and Paul sold their family home, and Laurel now lives in a two-bedroom flat. She fills her days by working part time, visiting her elderly mother, cleaning Hanna’s flat, and visiting friends out of a sense of obligation. As she nears the police station, she feels a sense of urgency and importance that she has not felt in her life for years. Earlier that year, Crimewatch did a 10-year anniversary appeal, reconstructing the CCTV footage from Ellie’s disappearance, but no new information surfaced until now.
7. Noelle brings Ellie little gifts and asks after Theo as they continued to meet for tutoring sessions, and little by little, Ellie begins to like her. However, one day when Noelle arrives, Ellie notices a marked change in her mood. She asks Ellie about the worst thing that has ever happened to her, such as a pet hamster dying, but Ellie states she has never had a hamster. Noelle tells her she’s a lucky girl and expresses bitterness at not being able to have the things she wants. In subsequent sessions, Noelle continues to have mood swings and ask more strange questions, so Ellie decides to stop tutoring with her. She tells her mother she feels confident about her exams, rather than telling the truth that Noelle acts strangely sometimes.
8. Someone found Ellie’s backpack near Dover, in a forest area near the ferry terminal. At the police station, the police ask Laurel and Paul if they recognize the bag or any of the items in it. The bag contains all of the things Ellie took with her to the library the day she disappeared, including the clothing she was wearing and a passport—Hanna’s passport. The police officer says the clothing shows signs of “intensive wear” (31), and they theorize that Ellie may have been on her way to Europe. Laurel thinks about why Ellie would have Hanna’s passport, and she remembers that someone broke into their house a few years after Ellie’s disappearance. Laurel has always suspected that Ellie broke in, but she can’t believe she was planning to run away. At that moment, another officer announces that they’ve found human remains.
9. A week before their GCSE exams, Ellie and Theo talk about their summer plans. Ellie can’t wait for all of the good times ahead of her, free of studying and tests.
10. When their house was burgled years ago, Laurel suspected it was Ellie—she could sense her presence in the air when she entered the house. The burglar only took a few random items: a pair of silver candlesticks, an old phone and laptop, some cash, and a cake Hanna baked. There were no signs of forced entry. The police never found any leads, but Laurel held out hope that Ellie came home, even just briefly. She stayed close to home in case Ellie ever came back, and she lost touch with Jack and Hanna in her obsession to find Ellie. Three years ago, she finally gave up and internalized the “madness” that haunted her (38), but now that the police have found some of Ellie’s bones, all her grief and desperation come rushing back.
11. Ellie had not thought about Noelle very much since ending her tutoring sessions, so when she saw her on Stroud Green Road as she was walking towards the library, it took her a moment to place her. Noelle asked if she was ready for her exams and offered to give Ellie a practice paper. Despite her misgivings, Ellie followed Noelle to her house just a few houses down the street. In hindsight, Ellie wonders if anyone saw them walking together towards Noelle’s house, and she thinks about all of the details that led her to this moment.
12. Paul and Laurel host a funeral to bury Ellie’s partial remains. Police say she was run over by a car, then dragged into the forest. The police investigate in the area surrounding the forest and ask if anyone remembers seeing a young girl along the road, hitchhiking, or sleeping outside, but no one knows anything, and the investigation ends.
PART TWO
13. Laurel is eating lunch in a café in her old neighborhood when a middle-aged man walks in. She notices his tasteful clothing, similar to what Paul wears, and finds herself attracted to him. He sits at the table next to her with a slice of carrot cake, and just as Lauren starts to leave, he compliments her hair. He offers her a bite of his carrot cake, and they sit together and talk. Laurel is surprised at herself for talking to a man, something she hasn’t done in years. She wonders if burying Ellie was the closure she needed to carry on with her life. The man, Floyd Dunn, gives her his phone number and offers to take her to dinner. Later, Laurel drops by Hanna’s house and tells her about meeting Floyd. She asks Hanna if she has a boyfriend, but Hanna denies it, saying she was out with friends. Laurel knows she’s not telling the truth and wishes they could all be a healthy family again.
14. Laurel calls Floyd, and they make dinner plans. As she’s getting ready for the date, she realizes she has not worried about looking pretty for a very long time. On their date, Floyd and Laurel start to get to know one another, and Floyd talks about his two daughters: Sara-Jade and Poppy. Sara-Jade, also called SJ, is the unusual child from Floyd’s first marriage, while Poppy is the brilliant little girl whose mother left, then vanished, when she was four years old.
15. At home, Laurel does a Google search of Floyd’s name, and she finds that he authored several math books. She sees a few of his author photos from various stages of his life, and she notes that he hasn’t always looked as dapper and put-together as the man she shared dinner with. Laurel wants to go out with him again, and she is surprised to find herself thinking about something other than Ellie. Laurel usually visits her friends on Saturdays, but they are out of town, and time crawls as she waits for Floyd to call. She visits her mother at her care home to pass the time. Her mother, who had three strokes, and as a result, has a “limited vocabulary” (67), usually expresses her readiness to die on Laurel’s visits. This time, when Laurel tells her about going on a date with Floyd, her mother smiles and encourages Laurel to call him. Laurel compromises by sending a text, and she shares a sweet moment of laughter with her mother before Floyd calls her.
16. On their second date, Laurel and Paul dine at an Eritrean restaurant, and they go to Floyd’s house after dinner. His house is just a few streets over from where she used to live, so the floor plan is virtually identical to the home she shared with Paul. Laurel meets Sara-Jade, and she notices her unique appearance—white blond hair and a thin, delicate build—and her quiet, withdrawn personality. Over a cup of tea, Floyd tells Laurel he googled her and knows about Ellie. He understands why she didn’t mention Ellie on their first date, and he feels bad for bringing it up now. Laurel considers how strong her feelings are for Floyd already and decides she’s ready to talk about Ellie. After they talk, they have sex, and as she falls asleep, Laurel feels a part of herself coming alive that she thought was gone forever.
17. In the morning, Laurel meets Poppy and is struck by how much Poppy resembles Ellie. Laurel remembers seeing many girls she thought looked like Ellie in the years following her disappearance, so she tries not to make much of the seeming resemblance between Poppy and Ellie. Floyd homeschools Poppy, and Poppy’s maturity, self-assuredness, and formal clothing surprise Laurel. Even though her charm is impressive, Laurel can’t help but feel that Poppy and her relationship with Floyd are somewhat strange. Later, Laurel cleans Hanna’s flat, as she does every week, and notices a bouquet of flowers. She finds a note in the trash signed “T,” and wonders why Hanna won’t tell her about the man she’s seeing.
18. Laurel regrets the way she treated Paul and neglected Jake and Hanna after Ellie’s disappearance. Now that her life is starting to have purpose again, she realizes the need to make amends and attempt to repair family relationships. She asks Paul and Hanna if they would be willing to get together as a family next week to celebrate her and Hanna’s birthdays, which fall on the same day, and they agree. Hanna denies having a boyfriend, and Laurel knows she is lying but doesn’t press her. Meanwhile, Laurel invites Floyd to her flat for dinner and finds herself struggling to think of what to cook; she hasn’t really cooked for others since Ellie disappeared. At the last minute before their date, she gets a text from Floyd saying that SJ can’t watch Poppy, so Laurel invites them both to come. Floyd suggests she put away any photos of Ellie, since Poppy loves to ask about other people’s photos, and he thinks its best Poppy doesn’t know about Ellie.
19. When Floyd and Poppy arrive, Laurel again notices the overly formal clothing Poppy wears. Poppy asks questions about all the people in Laurel’s photos, and Laurel expects Floyd to curb Poppy’s personal questions, but he doesn’t. It’s clear that Poppy is an unusual child. Floyd lets her sip champagne, she has no interest in making friends her own age, and the entire evening revolves around her. Laurel again notices the striking resemblance between Poppy and Ellie, and she offers to take her shopping sometime. At the end of the night, Laurel feels like there’s something strange about Floyd and Poppy, but by the time she leaves work the next day, she’s forgotten her concerns and her fluttery feelings for Floyd are back. She invites him and Poppy to the birthday dinner with her family after spending the whole weekend together.
20. Floyd takes Laurel out on her birthday and explains that he doesn’t know his actual birth date because he was born to homeless teenage parents who left him at a hospital. His parents returned for him a few days later, and even though things were tough at first, his parents made it through the hard times. Laurel realizes that she has been so consumed with her own sad story of losing her daughter that she has missed the sad stories of others. Back at Floyd’s house, she talks to Sara-Jade, who works as a nude model for a drawing class. SJ abruptly changes the subject to Ellie, saying she saw pictures of her on the Internet, and she looked a lot like Poppy. Laurel brushes off the remark, saying, “lots of people look like people, don’t they?” (109)
21. Laurel visits her mother, who says she thinks she’s close to dying. She’s been staying alive for Laurel, and now that Laurel is happy, she feels ready to go. Later that day, Laurel takes Poppy shopping, and they talk about Poppy’s mom. Poppy says she hated her mom, who was, “ugly and neglectful” and, “smelled of chips” (114). Poppy also shares her rather dark philosophy that life has no purpose or meaning. Laurel buys Poppy new outfits that are better suited to her age, realizing they are the types of outfits Ellie wore as a girl. Even though Poppy is reluctant at first, she’s excited to try something different from her usual, formal look.
22. Heading to the family birthday dinner, Laurel feels nervous about all of the people who will be there—her ex-husband and his partner, Bonny, who she’s never met, her new boyfriend Floyd, Jake and his girlfriend, Blue, Hanna, and Poppy. Laurel soon finds that her anxiety was unnecessary, as the dinner goes smoothly. Paul and Floyd are dressed almost identically, and Poppy gives a toast, “to happy families!” (124). After Laurel unwraps a book as a gift from Paul, Poppy remarks that she loves reading stories, calling them “the only thing[s] in this world that are real” (126). Leaving the restaurant, Paul remarks to Laurel how much Poppy resembles Ellie, and that what she said about stories sounds exactly like something Ellie used to say. Laurel finds herself feeling defensive as Paul discusses the “lookalike family” Laurel has found (127), but Paul is clearly pleased for Laurel.
23. Laurel and Floyd continue to grow closer, and Floyd shares how deeply he feels for her. On her way out of Floyd’s house to visit her friends, she notices a piece of mail addressed to Noelle Donnelly, and the name sounds familiar. Later, she asks about the name, saying she remembers it from somewhere. Floyd tells her that Noelle is Poppy’s mom, and she was a math tutor. Hearing this, Laurel realizes that Noelle was Ellie’s math tutor right before she disappeared. When Laurel questions Hanna about Noelle, Hanna recalls Ellie telling her that Noelle was creepy. Laurel wonders how Noelle, whom she remembers as unkempt and unattractive, could have been with Floyd, who seems so self-assured and put together.
24. Laurel gets a call from Jake and Blue, who tell her that Floyd has a dark aura. They think he’s hiding something. Angry and defensive, Laurel attributes their remarks to Blue’s strangeness and her ability to influence Jake’s opinions. The next time she’s at Floyd’s she has a heart-to-heart conversation with SJ, who is having an affair with an older, married man. The discussion turns to Ellie, and SJ asks if Laurel believes Ellie ran away. SJ read about Ellie’s case on the Internet, and just as she’s about to tell Laurel something about Poppy’s mom, Floyd walks in.
25. Laurel feels unsettled about her recent discoveries about Noelle Donnelly as Poppy’s mom and Ellie’s strange math tutor. She looks through Ellie’s diary, searching for comments about Noelle, and finds one entry where Ellie describes Noelle as a “bunny boiler” who is too “intense” (154). Laurel asks Floyd about Noelle, and he shares that she was a fan of his book, which is how they met. He was lonely at the time, but the relationship dragged on, and he felt he couldn’t get free of her. Then, she got pregnant with Poppy, and four years later, left her with Floyd and disappeared.
26. Laurel waits outside SJ’s work to question her about Noelle. SJ never liked Noelle and says Noelle would always ignore her. She reluctantly tells Laurel about a moment she remembers from when Noelle was eight months pregnant. SJ saw her naked in the bedroom, but there was no baby bump. SJ knows she was a troubled child with “emotional difficulties” (161), so she’s not sure if she imagined this moment or not.
PART THREE
27. Noelle reflects on her childhood in Ireland, growing up with two older brothers, two younger brothers, and a sister who died at age eight. As the only girl, Noelle was constantly compared to her deceased sister, and she felt she could never measure up. Her parents prioritized academic success, and Noelle put all of her efforts into academic achievement. Despite her hard work, she never found a job that she enjoyed or that paid particularly well, and she found herself in her 30s, tutoring for a pittance and living in an unremarkable house in Stroud Green. She had never had a meaningful, romantic relationship, and was still a virgin. After reading Floyd’s book about math, she became somewhat obsessed with meeting him. When she was 41, they met at a book signing, and Noelle found out Floyd lived in Stroud Green as well.
28. Noelle went out at every opportunity, hoping to run into Floyd, and eventually, they met at the neighborhood convenience store. Floyd remembered her, and they exchanged friendly banter. The next time they ran into one another, Floyd asked her to dinner. A few days later, he asked her over to his house, and they slept together. Noelle knew he wanted her for sex, but she was just glad to be in a relationship with him.
29. After being with Floyd for a year, Noelle met Sara-Jade. She tried to be nice to Sara-Jade by holding out her hand for a handshake, but SJ ran away and threw a fit. SJ’s reaction made Noelle feel unattractive, and from that moment on, she harbored hate and resentment for SJ. Sara-Jade was a difficult child, constantly screaming and fighting, and she consumed all of Floyd’s attention when she was with him. Noelle feels she and Floyd bonded over their dismay at SJ’s behavior and recalls Floyd telling her, “Maybe if you and I had a child, maybe it would like me” (182).
30. All Laurel can think about is finding more information about Noelle Donnelly. She finds the tutor’s phone number in an old address book, and when she dials it, a young man answers. He’s Joshua, Noelle’s nephew, and he and his brother are living in Noelle’s old house. Laurel introduces herself as a friend of Poppy’s and asks to come over. When Laurel pulls up to the house, she recognizes the area from the CCTV footage. Noelle’s house is directly across from the car where Ellie stopped to check her reflection. The boys have no idea where their aunt could be. Floyd never let the Donnelly family have contact with Poppy. Laurel asks about Noelle’s private things, hoping to find answers in a diary. She explains how the mysteries of Noelle’s disappearance and Ellie’s disappearance seem to share some kind of connection, and Joshua offers to show Laurel the basement. It has a single high window, TV, sofa, chair, and three locks on the door. Laurel immediately feels unnerved seeing the bareness and strangeness of the room. Perhaps the most bizarre part is the stack of hamster cages against the wall, which Joshua says were filled with over 20 dead hamsters when his uncles came to the house after Noelle disappeared. Before she leaves, Laurel notices a watermelon lip balm sticking out from under the sofa and pockets it, feeling that it, “belongs to her” (192). Shaken by the sight of Noelle’s basement, Laurel hurries home and goes straight to Ellie’s room, where she finds a set of three lip balms. The watermelon lip balm she found at Noelle’s fits perfectly with the others, forming a set.
31. Noelle unexpectedly got pregnant, and Floyd went with her to her first doctor’s appointment. He was sweet to her, holding her hand in the waiting room, and Noelle could sense his excitement. Another child would mean a chance for a better child than the uncontrollable Sara-Jade. When the ultra-sound technician couldn’t find a heartbeat, Noelle could sense Floyd’s annoyance, as if the miscarriage was her fault. Noelle was crushed by Floyd’s annoyance more than by losing the baby. A few years later, when Noelle was 44, she conceived again, but then miscarried for a second time and never told Floyd about the baby. The day she miscarried was the day she first met Ellie. Seeing Ellie’s beautiful family, shining personality, and perfect life, Noelle became obsessed with her.
32. Laurel visits her mother and doesn’t voice her feelings of unease when her mother asks about Floyd. Her mother tells Laurel she won’t see her again, and Laurel recognizes her mother’s sense that death will take her soon.
33. Noelle always wanted to be a “golden girl” like Ellie (205), and to have all of the attention and perfection girls like Ellie seem to have. Finding out that Ellie had a boyfriend, Theo, Noelle thought about the perfect babies they would make. She’d brought Ellie gifts and been extra nice to her, so when Laurel called to say Ellie didn’t need a tutor anymore, she became angry. She started stalking Ellie, waiting in a café to see Ellie pass by, and learning the route she took to and from school. Noelle felt like seeing her would somehow make her feel better. One day when she saw Ellie, she approached her, and she could see on Ellie’s face that she didn’t recognize her for the first few moments. Noelle says Ellie, “failed to verify my existence” (208), and this drove her to take action.
34. After spending an evening with Floyd and Poppy, Laurel convinces herself that she has been jumping to conclusions. Floyd is so wonderful that he can’t possibly be involved in Ellie’s disappearance. Then the next morning, her feelings of unease are back. She takes Poppy out to a café on Noelle’s road and points out Noelle’s house. She tells Poppy she has met some of her cousins, and that she has a whole family on her mother’s side that she has never met. Poppy agrees to go to Noelle’s old house and meet her cousins, and she recognizes the wallpaper in her old bedroom. Then Laurel takes her to the basement, and Poppy reacts with fear. She can’t bring herself to go in the room because she remembers thinking that a monster lived down there.
35. Laurel doesn’t tell Floyd about visiting Noelle’s house with Poppy, and she fights to keep herself from jumping to conclusions. The next morning on the walk to her car, she notices Theo, Ellie’s boyfriend, standing outside of a store. As she watches, a smiling Hanna comes out to join Theo.
PART FOUR
36. Ellie goes inside Noelle’s house to get the study paper she promised, and she accepts a glass of elderflower juice, which contains a drug. Ellie goes unconscious and wakes up 12 hours later in Noelle’s basement. Still unable to move, she tells Noelle her mom will be worried about her, and she wants to go home. Noelle leaves Ellie in the basement, securing three locks on her way out.
37. In the morning, Ellie pulls a chair up to the only window in the basement and realizes that her situation is dire. No one will be able to see her down in the basement. When Noelle enters the room, Ellie tries to hit her with the chair and overpower her, but Noelle is stronger than she looks and zip-ties Ellie’s ankles together. Noelle promises to bring Ellie treats if she behaves, and Ellie gets the impression Noelle does not intend to keep her there forever.
38. Noelle leaves on an errand to buy tampons and deodorant for Ellie, and while she’s gone, Ellie pounds on the tiny window and the basement walls until her hands are bruised. When Noelle returns, she has two pet hamsters for Ellie. Ellie is confused because she told Noelle during one of their tutoring sessions that she never wanted hamsters, yet Noelle thinks she did. Noelle also tells her that an article in the newspaper says she ran away, and Ellie realizes with dismay that no one saw her walking with Noelle on Stroud Green Road.
39. Noelle reflects on the bits of planning that went in to kidnapping Ellie, such as buying the elderflower juice and getting the drug from her doctor. She thinks giving Ellie the hamsters was a way to give her a purpose, and that Ellie adored them, caring for each one, “Even when there were cages full of them” (242). In Noelle’s mind, Ellie eventually accepted her fate and felt safe with Noelle.
40. Ellie loses track of what day it is and how long she’s been in Noelle’s basement. Noelle continues to bring her gifts and treats, but she never tells her why she’s there or how long she’ll be there. One night, she wakes to a drunken and dressed up Noelle, standing in the basement after being with her boyfriend. She promises to bring Ellie some books and movies. The next day, Noelle brings her dinner, and while she eats, Ellie blacks out. It’s morning when she wakes up, and Ellie knows something happened, but doesn’t know what.
41. As the weather gets cooler, Ellie imagines it must be September or October, but Noelle won’t tell her what month or day it is. One day, Ellie feels movement in her abdomen, like, “Bubbles popping inside her stomach.” (250).
42. Ellie is pregnant, which Noelle reveals, was her plan all along. Noelle fakes a pregnancy to Floyd and tells him the placenta is low, so the doctor said they couldn’t have sex. Noelle thought a pregnancy would make Floyd draw closer to her, but it doesn’t. She can see that he doesn’t really care about having a baby, and all she can hope for is that when the baby comes, it will link them together forever.
43. Noelle tells Ellie that her pregnancy is a miracle and seems excited over the baby, buying pregnancy books and baby clothes. One day, Noelle’s mood changes, and she loses interest in the baby. Ellie learns to read Noelle’s moods and stay out of her way. She finds herself caught between wanting to kill Noelle and wanting to win Noelle’s approval. She knows that the time alone in Noelle’s basement is taking its toll on her mind, and fights to hold on to her sanity.
44. Floyd breaks up with Noelle when she is supposedly 8 months pregnant, and Noelle hides her anger from him. She holds out hope that when the baby is born, Floyd will change his mind about her and want to get back together.
45. Noelle helps Ellie deliver the baby in her basement, and it’s a little girl that Ellie names Poppy. Poppy is healthy, but Ellie gets an infection, a fever, and eventually stops eating. Noelle is annoyed when Ellie does nothing but call for her mother, so when the baby is five months old, Noelle takes her and stops going down to the basement.
46. Laurel gets Noelle’s parents’ phone number from Joshua and finds out that Noelle was supposed to be coming home to Ireland with Poppy when she disappeared. Noelle’s mother suspects that Noelle is probably dead and tells Laurel that Noelle didn’t really care about her family. Over the years, after countless unreturned messages and unrecognized gestures, her family stopped caring about her, too.
47. When Poppy is six months old, Noelle takes her to visit Floyd, hoping that at the sight of her, he will want to renew their relationship. The meeting goes perfectly. Floyd falls in love with beautiful Poppy and her sweet smiles, and Noelle looks her best. She leaves feeling like there’s a chance he will want to get back together again.
48. Bonny, Paul’s partner, invites the whole family, including Laurel, Floyd, and Poppy, to her house for Christmas Eve, coming up in a week. Laurel asks Floyd about the day Noelle left Poppy on his doorstep, and he says he thinks it was for the best; Poppy was happy without her mom. Later, Poppy invites Laurel into her room to show her the mug she got her dad for Christmas, and Laurel notices a pair of candlesticks in her room—the same candlesticks that were stolen from Laurel’s house four years after Ellie disappeared.
49. Ellie is so weak from the infection and from not eating that she can’t get out of bed. She can hear Poppy crying upstairs and longs to go to her, but she has no strength and no “will to live” (281). The basement is horrible—her sheets are dirty, the toilet is blocked, and the hamsters are dead in their cages. In the midst of remembering snippets of her life—her family, Theo, and Poppy—Ellie dies.
50. When Poppy was a toddler, Noelle decided to sell her house because she was low on money. She’s not sure when Ellie died exactly, but when the body started to noticeably smell, Noelle put Ellie’s remains in a blanket box in the attic. Since she’s now planning to sell the house, she needs to deal with the remains. She made it look as if Ellie was a runaway by breaking into the Mack’s house and stealing a few items as if Ellie broke in. She then drove Ellie’s remains to a road far out in Dover, ran over some of the bones with her car, and partially buried the bones in a ditch. The rest of her bones, Noelle took to a nearby dump. Meanwhile, Noelle struggled to be a mother to Poppy. Poppy constantly threw fits, wouldn’t eat anything but sugar, and seemingly hated Noelle. With Floyd however, Poppy was a different child entirely. She bonded with Floyd, but not Noelle, and Noelle became angry. She resented the attention Floyd paid to Poppy rather than her. Noelle decided to take Poppy with her and return to Ireland, and in the back of her mind, harbored hopes that Floyd would follow and the three of them would live happily ever after.
51. Laurel asks Floyd about the silver candlesticks in Poppy’s room, and he tells her he found them at Noelle’s house when he went to get Poppy’s things. Laurel also asks if Noelle’s family ever met Poppy, and Floyd lies, saying Noelle never told him about any family she might have had. He tells Laurel that when he went to get Poppy’s things, Noelle’s house was “grim” (292), and that the worst part was all of the dead caged hamsters in the basement. Laurel remarks that the only good thing Noelle did was give birth to Poppy, and Floyd looks away with “haunted” eyes before agreeing (293).
52. The day Noelle is secretly planning to leave for Ireland with Poppy, Floyd tells Noelle that Poppy told him that she hates her, and he’s worried for Poppy’s well-being. He talked to a social worker and plans to keep Poppy with him. Noelle snaps. She tells Floyd Poppy is not their child, but that she was made by, “A girl called Ellie,” and donated sperm that she purchased online (298). Horrified and livid, Floyd attacks Noelle.
53. Laurel thinks about Hanna and her secret relationship with Theo. At first, she thinks Theo chose Hanna as a “consolation prize” since he couldn’t be with Ellie (301), but then she remembers the beautiful, smiling version of Hanna she saw leaving the supermarket. She realizes that her impression of Hanna as being “intrinsically unhappy” isn’t true (302). When Ellie disappeared, Laurel shut down, and as a result, lost her relationship with Hanna. Paul says that Hanna needs forgiveness from Laurel, “for not being Ellie” (303). Laurel calls Hanna and leaves a voicemail, apologizing and asking for forgiveness. When she hangs up, she feels “relief and weightlessness pass through her” after taking the first step toward mending her relationship with Hanna (304).
54. When Laurel goes to Floyd’s house, Floyd and Poppy leave to get a Christmas tree, and Laurel looks in Floyd’s study. She finds a drawer of newspaper clippings about Ellie’s disappearance and realizes that six months before she even met him, he had been collecting these clippings. Floyd and Poppy return with the Christmas tree, and they decorate it together. As they stand admiring the tree, Floyd tells Laurel he loves her. Although Laurel returns the sentiment, as Floyd pulls her into a hug, she feels something is not right.
55. Laurel visits her mother, who can tell that Laurel is feeling uneasy about something. Laurel also calls Blue to ask her more about her opinions of Floyd. Blue says Floyd takes cues from others for his behavior, rather than just being himself. She comments on his relationship with Poppy, saying he uses her as a “cloak” to make him appear normal (313). Blue asserts that Floyd is “pretending to be someone he’s not in order to get you to love him” (313). This time, Blue’s words resonate with Laurel, because they echo her feelings from the day before, standing by the Christmas tree.
56. After talking to Blue, Laurel is convinced that Floyd is pretending to be someone he’s not. However, all through her day at work, Floyd sends her Christmas-y text messages and emojis. By the end of the day, Laurel is back to thinking that everything is fine and that Blue’s ideas were strange.
57. Floyd asks Laurel to come to his house early on Christmas Eve before the family gathering because he has a gift for her that’s too large to bring to the party. Laurel feels a sense of dread and knows that he has some “ulterior purpose” in asking her to come (317). As a precaution, she texts Hanna and Paul to tell them where she’ll be, and to send someone to get her if she’s late to the party. When she pulls up to Floyd’s house, she sits in her car for a moment, gathering herself before facing Floyd.
PART FIVE
58. Floyd thinks about Laurel and reflects on what a wonderful woman she is. All throughout their relationship, he felt so lucky that “a woman like her would want to be with a man like [him]” (323). He sees her parked outside his house, and from the seriousness of her face, realizes his charade is over.
59. While Poppy wraps gifts upstairs, Laurel and Floyd have a drink and exchange gifts. Floyd gives Laurel an envelope, then says he has to get her other gift out of his car. Inside the envelope is a letter telling Laurel he is thankful for the time they had together, but that he has something of hers. He directs her to the study, where he left a video message waiting on his computer.
60. In the video message, Floyd explains that he saw the Crimewatch reenactment of Ellie’s disappearance earlier that year, and immediately noticed the similarities between Ellie and Poppy. He also saw that the reenactment took place just down the street from Noelle’s house, and put the pieces together. Noelle told him once that she was not Poppy’s mother, but that a girl named Ellie had the baby for her. He remembered Noelle’s strange basement with three locks on the door and immediately knew that Noelle kidnapped Ellie, and Poppy was Ellie’s daughter.
61. Floyd talks about the way he’s never been able to fit in, even as a child. Because his family moved around so much, he never had true friends, or ever really loved anyone until he had Poppy. He isn’t even sure if “love” is how he feels about Poppy, since he has “nothing to compare it to” (334). Floyd knew that if he went to the police, he would lose Poppy, and he was not ready for that. He came to Ellie’s funeral and saw Laurel, just as he’d seen her in the TV interview, still haunted by the loss of Ellie.
62. Floyd became somewhat obsessed with Laurel. He studied pictures of her and Paul, and then replicated Paul’s clothing style as his own. He had a DNA test done that proved he was not Poppy’s father. He sought out Laurel’s company, hoping she would have a chance to get to know Poppy, and was surprised when she took an interest in him. Although he knows he took advantage of her attraction, he really did care for her. Now, Floyd wants Poppy to become part of the Mack family. He confesses that he killed Noelle the day she told him about Poppy. He didn’t mean to, but he was so angry to learn that Poppy wasn’t his, that he lashed out at her. Noelle is buried under a flowerbed in his garden. He asks for Laurel’s forgiveness and tells her to move forward, “with Poppy by your side” (340).
63. When the video ends, Laurel explodes in tears of grief for her lost daughter. Poppy enters the study and tells Laurel that Floyd explained to her last night that he isn’t her real father. She knows that Laurel’s daughter was her real mother. Poppy starts crying, and Laurel takes her in her arms and feels a wave of love for Poppy wash over her.
64. Floyd distances himself from London and debates between committing suicide and leaving the country. He feels “clean and pure” for doing the right thing, and for freeing himself and Poppy from the mess Noelle made (346). On the other hand, he thinks of how the newspapers will always link him with Noelle, and he doesn’t want to live to see that. He reaches for his gun and takes his own life.
65. Eight months later, Hanna and Theo get married. Even though Poppy misses Floyd, she has adjusted to her new life with Laurel and calls her “Mama” (350). At the wedding, Laurel looks around at the many family members and friends surrounding her, but she misses the people who aren’t there: her mother, who passed away shortly after meeting Poppy, and Ellie. Laurel has a restored relationship with Hanna, and her life is good. Despite the trauma of finding out the truth about Ellie’s disappearance and losing Floyd, she is thankful to be a mother to Poppy and to have her family.
EPILOGUE
A woman finds a note inside of a book she bought at the Red Cross shop near Noelle’s house, and she brings it to the police. It’s a note written by Ellie, in which she explains her situation as a captive in Noelle’s basement. She wants her daughter and her family to know that she loves them. She doesn’t want her family to feel bad about her, because, “I am brave and I am brilliant and I am strong.” (356).